relationship

A bond (relationship wise) is when two people have a connection. Being attracted to each other and sharing common values and interests brought the two of you together as a couple, but the bond has not been set completely. Besides the fact that you have love and care [...]]]>

relationship

A bond (relationship wise) is when two people have a connection. Being attracted to each other and sharing common values and interests brought the two of you together as a couple, but the bond has not been set completely. Besides the fact that you have love and care between you, you also need to see whether or not the two of you are friends. Is it possible to be friends? Absolutely! As a matter of fact, it is a must if the two of you are going to build a lasting bond.

Having a strong longing and passion for another is important, but is not enough fuel to keep the bond running. With friendship, your relationship will remain having that strength under all kinds of circumstances. There will be times, for example, when you as a couple are not living in your most passionate times. This is natural and does not mean there is no longer love or desire. As your relationship deepens, you will go through many experiences and stages that may put your romance and frequent hot sex aside for a while. This is where friendship comes in and why it is so important. You should be there for each other and understand your partner’s situations and concerns. Just take a look at your friends. See what makes your friendship with them so great. You then need to see if your partner has those same similarities or exact (sticking up for you when you need the back up for instance) qualities. Another point to keep in mind is keeping yourself aware of what behavior you would not except from a friend. You should definitely not accept those behaviors from your mate (like standing you up all the time) either.

It is not easy to put our friends and lovers in the same comparison because we are in love with our partners, and therefore will be more patient with them than we would with our friends. You can easily blind yourself due to the love you feel for that person and not even realize when he or she is not being a good friend and partner to you. How can you tell? A true friendship is basically the same as the true qualities that define real love. The difference is, we are in love and have a deep desire for our mates, with commitment and a goal of building a future, and perhaps even getting married and making a family together. The list below will help you see if your lover is a friend to you as well.

You can talk to and confide in each other about anything.
Your partner is there for you when you need to talk to someone.
Being able to always rely on each other when one is counted on.
Having a permanent shoulder to cry on when we need it
Having many things in common
Accepting one another for who we are
Listening to us and considering our opinions important

Do not feel guilty for having higher expectations from your lover either. People often feel like they should be more lenient and understanding when it comes to their lovers. Even though it is important to keep an understanding attitude (to avoid misunderstandings and arguments), you should never let things always slide or make up excuses for your partner’s wrong doings. You should expect better and not except such behavior. You deserve better. After all, you invest most of your emotions and time into your partner, so always remember that you are entitled to receive the same.

dating_tips

Okay, so you date people hoping that one of these days you will come across the right person, the one you will make the greatest romantic connection with. But does it feel like you are going nowhere and believe that you just have no luck with meeting the [...]]]>

dating_tips

Okay, so you date people hoping that one of these days you will come across the right person, the one you will make the greatest romantic connection with. But does it feel like you are going nowhere and believe that you just have no luck with meeting the right people? Feel like you are lost and doomed in this whole dating business? Stop feeling sorry for yourself!

The reality of this situation is that luck has nothing to do with it. If you are like many people, you are probably dating blindfolded, without even realizing that you are doing so. If you feel unsuccessful and dissatisfied with your dating patterns, then it is time for you to take a few steps back to see where things went wrong for you. Think you have been doing everything right? Think again! If you look back, you will be surprised to learn that you got so caught up in just the whole dating experience, that you forgot what to look out for and neglected your true needs and desires. What are you really looking for in a lover? What are your needs and desires? What qualities are important for a person to have and what other qualities are you willing to compromise with and accept?

Getting back in touch with what you are really looking for will help prevent you from staying in the dating scene forever. It is essential that you observe your actions and decisions, making sure that you do not continue to date certain people in the name of dating. If you find that you are not sharing the connection you crave with a person, then you must discontinue with dating that person. Sure, you will feel bad for hurting that persons feelings, but what you must remember is that there is nothing too personal or emotional between the two of you anyway, so just throw that excuse out- and just break it off, in a polite manner of course! This is where so many get stuck, mistaking casual trial dates, with a personal and emotional relationship. This may sound too business-like for your taste, but this is the way it goes in the real world of dating.

If you spend your time trying to spare people hurt or disappointment, then you have been doing it all wrong. This does not mean that you have to be harsh and rude, but it does mean that you have to make finding the right person a first and high priority for, not worrying about what other people with think of you.

long_distance_call

Challenging and difficult, though they may not be what we want to hear, are the words that best describe long distance relationships. Keep in mind however, that the words are challenging and difficult, not impossible. Many people choose to give a long distance relationship a try, with [...]]]>

long_distance_call

Challenging and difficult, though they may not be what we want to hear, are the words that best describe long distance relationships. Keep in mind however, that the words are challenging and difficult, not impossible. Many people choose to give a long distance relationship a try, with the constant curiosity if it was the right decision to make and if it even stands a chance. The truth is, a long distance relationship has just as much a chance of succeeding as any other relationship!

Long Distance Relationships share the same facts as an average relationship. It involves two people who share an interest in each other’s lives, care for one another and of course have a love for each other that they hope will only continue to grow. On the other hand, a long distance relationship does have its differences as well. It takes away your ability to see each other on a frequent note, as well as the choice of being intimate whenever you desire, not to mention that there would be major trust required. Being unable to spend time together in a physical presence makes it harder to hang on to, but does not spell out doom for your relationship.

The first step is to make an agreement of what your expectations are in the relationship and how much of a commitment you are willing to give and receive. If the two of you decide to be monogamous, then it is clear that neither of you will be dating anyone else as long as your romantic relationship exists. Being clear about what you both want is extremely important, especially in a long distance relationship, in order to prevent future misunderstandings and mistakes. Do not feel afraid to tell your partner what you really need and want from him or her, you deserve the chance to speak from your heart and he or she deserves to know the truth and judge whether they can give it to you.

Trust is a major necessity if you wish to have your relationship from a distance. Without trust and honesty, the relationship is in for danger and unsuccessfulness, just as it would be any other relationship. By accepting the challenge of a long distance relationship, you also accepted the fact that you will have to have the trust and faith that your partner will not be seeing anyone else as promised. Being paranoid and accusing will only grow doubts, insecurity and tension between you and none of those three will help the relationship survive successfully.

healthy_relationship

First off, it is important to ask yourself what you consider a real relationship to be. You need to understand what your needs and desires are from another person, and what you are willing to give them. This way, you can see early in your first dates, if you wish to [...]]]>

healthy_relationship

First off, it is important to ask yourself what you consider a real relationship to be. You need to understand what your needs and desires are from another person, and what you are willing to give them. This way, you can see early in your first dates, if you wish to continue and work towards a future together, and if the other person feels the same of course (both sides count). healthy relationship

Once you have decided to have an official relationship, you both need to remember what brought the two of you together in the first place. For instance, what attracted you to each other both physically and emotionally? What do you admire about his or her personality? This will help not taking the other for granted, which can often happen after two people have been together for a long time. This does not mean the love is fading, but it does mean that there is lack of effort. People tend to get lazy after a while, because they feel comfortable and safe. This problem can be solved when both people are willing to make the time and effort. Read also our Love Pullution article.

Everyone is independent in their own beliefs and ideas about things, so never expect a person to always see things your way. However, it is important to have similar expectations out of a relationship, if you wish to avoid frequent arguments. Look for things like whether or not it is important for the both of you to see each other everyday, or have sex often. While seeing each other on a daily basis seems wonderful and healthy to some people, others may feel smothered and need space to have some alone time. Or if sex is on the top of your list, but is not on your partners, you might want to consider that, unless you do not mind waiting or taking care of yourself once in a while depending on how long you have to wait!

Patience is one of the main keys to a healthy relationship. There are times when our partner will not respond in a way in which is pleasing to us, but this does not mean we have to take it so seriously or personally. Always slow down, take a deep breath and think of reasons why your partner may be acting a certain way. Assuming and jumping to conclusions is always an unhealthy step to take because it shows your partner that they are not entitled to act freely and they feel attacked, not to mention it shows that you automatically assume the worst of them. Give your partner some time and let them know that you will be there for them when they are ready to talk. No matter what the situation may be, patience is golden in a relationship, unless your partner never wants to discuss matters with you (which would mean you need counseling or leave the relationship).

Honesty is also at the top of everyone’s list when it comes to what people want out of a relationship. A person needs to know that they can trust their mate because it builds a zone of safety and comfortableness around them. They need to know that they can at least rely on their loving partner to tell them the truth, no matter what. Being human means NOT being perfect, which means we will make mistakes. Now, we should not let that fact lead us to making mistakes we already know are wrong ahead of time. If your partner deliberately makes mistakes or you knowingly make mistakes, it shows that you or your partner lacks respect and care for the other. This is unhealthy for the relationship. What is healthy however, is realizing that the mistake you committed is a mistake. You or your partner need to know that what they did was wrong and they need to feel the sympathy for what they did. Once you or partner have realized this, you can then figure out a way of how you will confess your wrong doings to the other.

beauty girl

“All women are flirts, but some are restrained by shyness and others by sense” said François de La Rochefoucauld – a French writer. And how true, there’s a part in all humans that always seeks the pleasure of being flattered, being praised. It gives that strange boost [...]]]>

beauty girl

“All women are flirts, but some are restrained by shyness and others by sense” said François de La Rochefoucauld – a French writer. And how true, there’s a part in all humans that always seeks the pleasure of being flattered, being praised. It gives that strange boost in the spirit that one begins enjoying her life, adding spice to even the most casual encounters, leave alone committed relationships like marriage. Flirting is an essential acquired art required to “live” your relationships. If you are one of the many women, who shy away from this essential ingredient of life, you need to rethink, reanalyze what you might be missing.Whether you are married, or happily single, whether or not you possess deadly looks you can always win the attention of the men you desire in a very elegant and a refined manner. Being a woman you possess an inherent power to win the hearts of almost any man you desire. All you need is to understand what to do and say when. Mimi Tanner’s e-course titled “How To Flirt – Lifelong Flirting. The Secrets of Flirting With Men” equips you with the right resources and ammunition that you will ever require to flirt subtly and gracefully.

Mimi Tanner’s e-course titled “How To Flirt – Lifelong Flirting! The Secrets of Flirting With Men” has just the right set of dos and don’ts while practicing how to flirt. If you have always been successful attracting only the wrong type of men, Tanner’s course teaches you different ways to flirt with different types of men while highlighting gracious ways to say “No thanks” mid-way in a misjudged relationship. She teaches you fabulous working techniques and ways to have a hypnotic effect on men they will want more and more of you after every meeting.

Men will find you innocent yet irresistible after you begin practicing the exercises given in the course. The e-course also coaches what you can do to make a man of any age feel more of a man, irrespective of whether you are married or single while also giving you an insight into the deepest psychological needs of any man.

Many women feel flirting is a man’s game. Well the truth is no matter what your age or sex, everyone enjoys the adventure, thrill, and excitement and that comes with every flirtatious encounter. It prepares you to develop and make more out of your relationships than mere being a part of them. If you are single and looking for your man, flirting opens new avenues for you, and if married, it keeps the passion and romance ignited in your marriage. Anyone can enter a relationship, what is important is to build and keep it forever. Flirting makes your life merrier.

jealous

One of the main reasons couples break up is because of jealousy. There are many different reasons we get jealous. Some of these reasons are stupid and some of them are legitimate. The stupid reasons can eventually break a couple up. The best thing to do is keep [...]]]>

jealous

One of the main reasons couples break up is because of jealousy. There are many different reasons we get jealous. Some of these reasons are stupid and some of them are legitimate. The stupid reasons can eventually break a couple up. The best thing to do is keep these jealousy issues to yourself, especially if you realize they are stupid reasons to be jealous.

If you catch yourself getting jealous when your boyfriend spends time with his mom or sister, you have a problem. Family will almost always come first in a man’s life. If he is a “momma’s boy”, he will be spending a lot of time with her. It will be very stupid to get jealous when he is spending time with her. The best thing to do in this situation is keep your thoughts to yourself instead of confronting him about your issues. He will most likely be turned off if you tell him you are getting jealous over his mom. The same goes for his sister. They have a bond that is longer and stronger than your bond to him. If he wants to spend some time with her, you shouldn’t be getting jealous. You can instead spend time with them as a family. This will make it easier if everyone is hanging out together.

Does your boyfriend spend a lot of time working on different hobbies? If so, he is probably spending a lot of time with his guy friends. The worst thing to do is get jealous and angry at him for spending too much time with guys. Boys will be boys. They will always have nights where they need to hang out and do manly things. These things can range from working on cars or playing video games. Instead of getting jealous, you can turn that feeling into something productive. You could grab your girlfriends and have a ladies night out. You don’t need to go crazy. A few drinks and a movie would be plenty. Getting jealous over his guy friends will make him second guess the relationship in a heartbeat.

Work relationships should be taken into consideration but not over analyzed. If he spends a lot of time working with a woman in the workplace, he has probably developed a relationship with her. This relationship doesn’t always have to be an intimate one. If the woman he works with is older, married and unattractive, he probably is not interested in anything more than friends. It can be hard for a man to work with someone and not have a friendly relationship. Getting jealous over a work relationship can mean you get jealous very easily. The best thing to do is become friendly with the woman he works with. This will give you a sense of who she really is and put your mind at ease. If you know she has absolutely no interest in your boyfriend, you probably won’t be jealous anymore.

Jealousy can break a couple up a lot of the time. The stupid jealousy issues can be avoided simply by changing your attitude. Turn your jealous feelings into something productive and fun.

couple

Boys are not really looking for attractive girls. They look for girls they will be proud to show to their families. Being attractive is only secondary traits but the inner attitude will be the deciding factor. They do not love to see girls who show their [...]]]>

couple

Boys are not really looking for attractive girls. They look for girls they will be proud to show to their families. Being attractive is only secondary traits but the inner attitude will be the deciding factor.

Little Notes: Every woman claims they don’t like the small gestures but [...]]]> Every woman wants a cute and adorable man as their boyfriend. The best way to get into a girls heart is by being an adorable boyfriend. Here are a few helpful hints to be the most adorable boyfriend you can.

Little Notes: Every woman claims they don’t like the small gestures but deep down inside it makes them go crazy. The smallest things can change how a girl feels about a guy. A good example of “wooing” your girlfriend is to leave her little notes throughout the house or in her bag. If you live with your girlfriend, you should leave little post-it notes on the mirror or the dresser with a cute little phrase. These little notes will let her know you are always thinking about her and want her to always think about you. If you don’t live with your girlfriend, leaving little notes in her purse or her pocket will win brownie points for sure. If you leave a note in her pocket saying “I love you” or “can’t stop thinking about you” she will go crazy for you.

love-notes

Text Messages: Technology and cell phones have come a very long way since they were first invented. You can now send a text message or even a voice message as a text message in a matter of seconds. If you text your girlfriend during the work day with something like “can’t wait for tonight”, she will not be able to stop thinking about you the whole day. Even a little smiley face text message can mean the world to a girlfriend. You can do these little things whenever you want. The best time to do these is when you think the relationship is rocky. These will make her rethink the fight you had in a heartbeat.

Flowers: Every woman loves to receive flowers even if they say they don’t. You don’t need to go out and spend a fortune on the best flowers around. You can simply pick up a single red rose and give it to your girlfriend. One of the best ways to make her think you are an adorable boyfriend is by sending her flowers to her office. Women will usually never expect to receive flowers when they are working. This is a great way to not only surprise her, but to show her how much you car.

Unique Gifts: Giving a woman the general gifts for holidays and special occasions can get boring after a while. If you spice things up and buy her things she would never think of, she will think differently about you. If you listen to her, you will pick up different things she wants without asking her what she wants. This is a great way to sweep her off her feet and surprise her at the same time.

Quality Time: Most men would rather go out with their guy friends than sit around and watch movies. If you are deeply into the relationship, you might be able to get away with taking off with your buddies. If you are still trying to win her over, you might have to suck it up and watch some chick flicks every now and then. A lot of women want to sit around and watch movies when they are on their period. If you stick around and watch these movies during her time of the month, you are surely going to be sticking around for a while.

All of these tricks will definitely turn you into the most adorable boyfriend any girl has ever had.

One of the best parts about marriage is being so comfortable with your hubby that you can say just about anything to him. But if you don’t watch your mouth, sometimes the ugly truth comes out in hurtful—not helpful––ways. Though you may have legitimate concerns to express or issues to [...]]]> by Denise Schipani

One of the best parts about marriage is being so comfortable with your hubby that you can say just about anything to him. But if you don’t watch your mouth, sometimes the ugly truth comes out in hurtful—not helpful––ways. Though you may have legitimate concerns to express or issues to bring up, doing so in a harsh manner can be damaging in the long term, to both your husband’s feelings and your relationship. According to Judy Ford, psychotherapist and author of Every Day Love, “Speaking kindly is a skill that couples have to learn. Everyone feels battered by life and the outside world. You shouldn’t feel that way at home.” Here, nine statements that you should never utter to your significant other––and the words that you should try instead.

older-father-son

1. “You’re just like your father.

“This is just a no-no,” says Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker and author of The Pathway to Love. “It’s nasty and belittling, and it gets at his fear that he may be exhibiting the worst traits of his family.” If you’re about to spout a criticism like this, stop and think about what’s behind it: Maybe your father-in-law is the kind of guy who never cleans up after himself, and your husband’s habit of leaving dirty dishes around the house is getting to you. According to Ford, you should skip the insult and get right to a reasonable request, such as: “Hon, when you’re done with your sandwich, can you bring your dish over to the sink?” That way, you can achieve your goals without hurting him in the process.

2. “When are you going to find a new job?”

First, figure out why you want him to find a new job so badly. Do you dislike how much time he spends away from home? Do you think he can or should be further ahead career-wise? Is he not bringing home a healthy-enough salary? “Before you say anything that could be hurtful to him, think about what your own issues are,” says Ford. Be particularly careful that you’re not attacking his ability to support you and the kids: “Part of how a man evaluates himself is by how well he can take care of his family,” says Ford, so insulting him in this sensitive area can be a serious blow. To avoid this, have regular talks about both of your jobs, career ambitions and budget concerns. If you have an issue with how much money he’s making, “it’s an opportunity to talk about your lifestyle and how you want to live,” she adds. The aim is to avoid putting him on the defensive, and instead work together to create the life you both want. Photo: Shutterstock

3. “My mother warned me you’d do this!”

Something must have seriously infuriated you, because what you’re doing here is letting him know that there are others in your “camp.” “You are trying to validate your ‘side’ of an argument, as though you’re marshalling an army to your side,” says Orlov. But that’s never a good idea because it’s telling him that you’re not on his side, or on the side of your relationship. Though you should never let the opinions of others’ dictate your relationship, if there is some kernel of truth to a concern that your mother raised, think about how to address that. “Maybe your mother said ‘he’s too cheap,’” says Orlov. “Say to him, ‘why do you sometimes seem reluctant to spend money on things we need?’” Without ganging up on him, that could open up a discussion about money worries that stem from his childhood, for example. “Room is now cleared for creative problem-solving,” says Orlov. And if you’re just lashing out? Hold your tongue and focus on the root of what’s making you mad. In the end, coming to a solution together will make you feel better than unleashing hurtful words.

4. “Just leave it––I’ll do it myself!

This is hurtful in two ways. First, it gets at your husband’s elemental need to be a provider, supporter and capable person in the house. Second, it’s just plain demeaning for any adult to hear that his efforts are sub-par. Do this too often and your husband might think, “I can never do anything right or anything that’ll please her,” says Ford. A better choice is to pick your battles. If he’s in the middle of a task and you think that he’s doing it wrong, evaluate whether it really matters, keeping in mind that, just because he’s doing something differently than you would doesn’t mean that he’s doing it wrong—he is, after all, an adult too. Sure, if he’s about to hurt himself or someone else or break something, kindly step in. But if he’s just loading the dishwasher in a way that drives you nuts? Let it be. Photo: Thinkstock

5. “You always… [fill in the blank]” or “You never… [fill in the blank]”

“These are two phrases I advise couples never to use,” says Ford, “because they set up an instant, negative tone; they halt communication and they put the other person on the defensive.” These blanket statements can make your husband feel unfairly attacked, and chances are he’ll just fire back with all the times he did help. If there are legitimate problems you’d like to address (he really does tend to leave his tools all over the garage floor or often forgets to put gas in the car after driving it), avoid generalizing and try to focus on the issue at hand while also communicating how his actions make you feel: “When you come home with an empty tank of gas, I feel like you don’t care about the next person who has to drive the car—which is usually me.” Then add the phrase “would you be willing…,” suggests Ford. Try: “Would you be willing to fill up the car when it gets below a quarter tank?” Most men are willing to do most anything that’ll make you happy––it’s all in how you ask.

6. “Do you really think those pants are flattering?”

Are you trying to hint that he’s putting on weight? Because saying the above, says Ford, is not getting anything concrete across. You may think that you’re subtly conveying the message, but instead you’re insulting his looks without showing any genuine concern for his health. Instead, start with something you like about how he looks: “When you wear that blue shirt, it really makes me appreciate your gorgeous blue eyes.” Then broach the topic of his weight gain by framing the comment so it’s about his health, not looks: “Honey, what do you think about us both starting after-dinner walks?” When you’ve softened up your approach, you have more room to make other, helpful suggestions.

7. “Ugh, we’re hanging out with him again?

There’s nothing wrong with your guy having a friend whose company you don’t love—no one says spouses are required to adore each other’s friends, especially that one college pal who likes to pretend he and your hubby never left the frat house. What is wrong is insulting your man’s choice of friends. Your disdain may also suggest that you’d prefer to pick his friends for him—and no one wants to be told who they should be pals with. A better choice: “Oh, honey, you know I don’t always enjoy doing the same things as you and George, so why don’t you plan a guys’ night instead?’” suggests Ford. Remember, there’s no marriage rule that says you two have to do everything together; he might actually be relieved to have a little guy time with his pal that doesn’t involve him having to worry if you’re having fun or are offended by his friend’s jokes. (And keep this in mind: If a friend is really awful, your husband is much more likely to see that on his own, over time, whereas if you nag him to drop the dolt it may never happen.)
8. “Please watch the kids. But don’t do this, take them here or forget that…”

This is a classic nervous-new-mom move: When you’re in anxiety mode, it can be hard to let go of childcare tasks (even though you would love to have more help). It’s also an attitude that can become a habit no matter how long you’ve been a mom, leading to some very unhealthy feelings: You may become resentful because he doesn’t pitch in, but you don’t always give him room to, either. At the end of the day, no husband is going to be inspired to be a better, more hands-on and involved dad if his every effort is shot down, says Orlov. “If he always feels like he’s wrong, he’ll only start to disconnect emotionally.” So let Dad be Dad. Trust that he knows as well as you do how to keep a child clean, safe and fed—even if his definitions of those tasks are slightly different than your own. That said, if there are things he needs to know, like how to use the stroller or what the pediatrician’s phone number is, definitely give him the rundown.